This story is for you. You will find yourself in it. You will find something to reflect on.
Funke Obodo.
I am beautiful in a way that would make any man begin to instantly adjust his life plan (or shatter them and make new ones. Lol) to accommodate me in them. I found that they simply could not just ignore me, wherever I went. So right from the first year my family moved here, to Abuja (and I was still fresh out of high school), all types of men were drawn to me as naturally as water would flow downhill from the top of a mountain. My super rich parents were alarmed. I grew used to it. I was not about to fall in love tho. Ha! Fat chance! I carried a huge scar on my heart. My emotions were set in stone. 6 years later I was a graduate engineer and newly employed. I was getting old. I began to play with the idea of getting married. I was lonely, without real true friends, and a marriage would get the parents off my back. I was not to choose for love though. The word did not mean a thing to me. My adult emotional experience was flatline. But I got married anyway, to an old friend who had managed to stick around through all my dramatic life phases. He had always wanted me; I always found him cute. Like a dog. He was the person I trusted the most. He was stable. Reliable.
Charles Obodo.
I knew she never really was crazy about me. I was always just an OK guy. But I wanted her like an obese kid wants a soda after a long hot day. So I married her because of this. And I was hoping she would grow to love me. It felt like she was already falling. This is no doubt a foolish decision to make; but I felt she was every bit worth such a life-altering risk. The way I wanted her, the intensity. The fact that she was such a huge trophy. These things were compelling enough. I would not be budged from my decision.
Looking back, I have come to the conclusion that I was either cursed with a rare foolishness (one of the village witches must have randomly selected me to display her dark creativity), or cursed by the allure of her mermaid-like beauty. But the consensus is that I must have been cursed.
We have managed to live together as a couple for 3 years. In this time, it has become increasingly clear to me that my marriage will not work. She has become more distant with every new day. Even our solid, long friendship is not strong enough to save us now. Or save me, rather. I do not imagine that she needs saving. Depressed, I now wallow on the brink of emotional collapse.
Emmanuel Osagie.
I have never really cared for love. Like Funke, I have given up on it. I simply have… desires. I am now just a monster, having no empathy for the women who come around me. Just using them. This is only a natural response, after my unlucky streak of endless heartbreak.
When we were introduced as colleagues, Funke and I, I could not simply bring myself not to want her. She was pretty. Given. This was all I needed to know. I liked her body. I didn’t care to peek into her mind. No need. I wasn’t planning on staying here long. Then I saw the way she looked at me. “This should be as easy as finger licking”, I thought. She was far gone. I must have had her at hello.
Funke.
This is the end. I really thought I was never going to find love. I thought my heart was seared by the repeated, obsessive rapes my dearest uncle inflicted on me throughout high school. I did the wise thing: marry an old time friend and hope I eventually release my heart to him. But my heart has sprung on me a surprise which cannot be viewed as pleasant by any stretch of the imagination. I have found love; albeit in the wrongest place.
I have fallen in love with Emmanuel Osagie. It is an utter, definitive, hopeless fall. My husband has learned of this. He has found us naked, wild and hot, on the day I told him I had the day off. In the sitting room. I did not know I would feel so terrible about hurting my husband. Now, Emmanuel is gone. He was never in love with me, and it is funny how I did not anticipate this, being the furthest person from naive. I am now the very definition of grief. I have lost a great husband in a time when it is hard enough to find a good one. My emotions are now displayed in varying shades of sorrow. Love has been unfair. It has made of my soul, a dark, twisted wasteland.
